Which is better? Trying to pass or trying not to fail

For some weird reason, that question popped into my head and it begged/beseeched/harassed/cajoled me for answer. Won’t let me be until I started tuning the squeaky bolts and screws of my brain. The two sides are quite similar right, shouldn’t they be the same? I really hoped they were. After a lot of cranial sweating, it came to me.

In trying to pass a course for example, you might do things like go for all your lectures, pay tuition in time to avoid being sent out of classes, reading well ahead of exam period, feeding properly and sleeping well. Everything going on here is positive, yeah. Trying not to fail on the other hand, appears to have an  element of negativity. Before you consider the option of not failing, it means failure is becoming a major possibility. You would have seen it in the horizon, weighed the options of the results of failing and you realize, you really can’t afford to fail and then you start working on not failing. And this might entail things like doing crash studying at exam period, getting exam past questions, paying a lecturer to get favors etc. With trying to not do something, there is an element of desperation in play, clouding our better judgement.

Did anyone hear that rumor that Obama might be the antichrist? What followed the rumor was the frenzy of critically watching every move of the dude, so that if he does anything  that remotely appears antichrist-ey, we might go ‘yup, we knew it!’ It was years ago and for some reason that rumor popped into my head today. While watching the guy who was going about his own business, we forget to watch ourselves, we forget to be vigilant, to ‘work out our own salvation with fear and trembling’. Got me thinking, what is the difference between trying to pass and trying not to fail? or trying to be rich and trying not to be poor? Trying to get to heaven and trying not to go to hell?

Moral of all my rambling: We need to concern ourselves with the right mission. Otherwise, we will just be wasting time and resources on missions that profit nothing, running errands no one sent us. Pick your battles, take the right paths and there will be no anxiety.

 

RONKE GIWA: THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE! PART 2

Hi guys, thank you so much for stopping by. I got a lot of feedback on the last post about Ronke on twitter, facebook and here on the blog. Thank you sooo much and I totally agree, Ronke rocks big time. So, here we are, the part two on this lady.

Do you know that girls are the most discriminated of all groups? Now, Ronke has a project called WHO’S THAT GIRL, this project is focused on the girl child, catching them young kinda thing. You guys know how we see strong, confident, powerful women like Abike Dabiri Erewa, Funmi Iyanda, Stella Damascus, Abiola Lufadeju, Ronke Giwa, Bukola Akinwale…and we wonder how they got so powerful, confident and beautiful. Well, the truth is that this category of women make up less than 10% of the total population of women. The remaining 90% are not strong or so beautiful (both on the inside and outside) and they are not so confident. They have very little faith in themselves, poor self esteem and will most likely never take a bold step out of their comfort zone to achieve tough stuff. A lot of women are out there struggling with marital problems, businesses that are barely making profit, abusive husbands, jobs they hate etc waiting for when things will turn around for them.

Photo credit – verastic.com

Now, these 90% of women were at a time girls and at some point, something went wrong making these women lose the crux of their essence. Making them forget the fact that they are special. Ronke’s project is about catching these girls early, before life happens to them, and ensuring they grow into the 10% of women we all hope to be. Ronke has had the opportunity of meeting an 11 year old girl that has been getting molested by her brother for the last 2 years! Meaning she has been getting sexually abused since she was 9 years old! Trust me, this infestation is real.
There are lots of young girls, like this girl, that are getting sexually abused by fathers, mommy’s boyfriends, step fathers and uncles. And they are unable to speak about it or seek help because we happen to be in an environment where if a girl gets raped, she is the first culprit. She must have dressed in a way that attracted that sort of attention, she must have been wayward, she must have been ‘loose’ etc.  Now, lets pretend this happened to a girl from a relatively comfortable family. Imagine what it’s like for girls that come from families that both parents and 4 siblings share a room in a ‘face-me-face-u’ sort

of dig. They are exposed to way more harassment, more dangers, more debasement.

A lot of girls are getting abused now more than ever. Let’s not think its only the un-sheltered girls. I was already in the university when I started getting physically abused by my boyfriend and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because it doesn’t reflect well on me. It’s one thing to say ‘I was physically abused by my ex’ but my story was that ‘I am getting physically abused by my boyfriend’…and I stayed in the relationship for 3 whole years. You must wonder why I stayed in right? That’s what happens with most people in abusive relationships or situations. Most people are unable to leave without help. Imagine if I had a Ronke Giwa back then, I wouldn’t have had that black eye, that almost-ruptured kidney or the scars and bruises on my body. Let’s not talk about the damage on my emotions, psyche and self confidence. Let’s pay more attention to the gists we hear around us about women that their husbands beat up. Do they leave? No. Are the women miserable? Oh yeah! A lot of them consider suicide and some get murdered during an episode of physical abuse. Same with these abused young girls. A lot of them get suicidal.

photo credit- http://www.fanpop.com

Now our own Ronny is making this bold move to catch these girls real young. If you are getting abused or you have been impregnated and you feel you have no one to turn to, try and make it to the next Who’s That Girl program in January. Or you can get in touch with me at oke_b007@yahoo.co.uk. And if you would like to join Ronke in this fight to save our girls, please get in touch. She is looking for people who can train girls in any craft, independence is key in this fight you know. You don’t need to have millions of naira to make a difference in this generation, lending a hand is sometimes all you need. And Ronke needs everyone that is ready to lend a hand, make a move, take a step, change a life. Let’s start breeding more of those women that are strong, confident and beautiful…let’s increase that percentage.

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

Ronke’s email address – ronkegiwa14@yahoo.com