Posted in Girl discovered

Abstinence: What’s your reason?

A friend of mine and I were discussing abstinence the other day and she got to extolling the virtues of abstinence being the key to getting and keeping the respect of that man you eventually get married to. And the more I mused on that fact, the more I got very confused. Yea, I get the fact that it takes a lot, a huge lot, for a beautiful woman to go out, do her school/job whatever and come back home to an empty bed, everyday!  That takes a world of self-control and standards, especially in this current era…and yes, dudes have got to respect that. But my confusion was that there are also a bunch of women who abstained till they got married and ended up with jerks who had absolutely no respect for women. Same way there are loads of women who didn’t abstain and ended up with gentlemen, earned and kept the respect of these men. So, as far as moi is concerned abstinence is not the key to getting a man’s respect.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to not abstain since it isn’t gonna earn you that respect. My stand here is, if you are abstaining, why are you abstaining? If you are preaching abstinence, why are you preaching it?

Personally,I am all for abstinence.But not simply because that’s the way to earn the respect of the man you end up marrying. There are other reasons, more important reasons to abstain.

1. God wants it. Simply because He wants us to honour Him with our bodies. He wants our bodies cherished and preserved until the right time, untouched and unblemished. The Bible makes it clear that that is our true worship. If you like, be able to sing in church like Lucifer, if you are not offering your body up daily in worship to the Father, you are just an otondo.

‘Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies ad a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship’. Rom 12:1.

2. Do it to get spiritual leverage. A lot of crap will be thrown your way in marriage and in life, you should be able to run to God and make demands when things get fierce.You should be able to run to God and hide yourself and your husband behind Him when them elese tirins start chasing your husband. It’s simple logic, pour cold water ahead of you and you will walk on cool grounds. Abstinence kinda opens doors, make things easier…don’t know why, just know it does.

‘If she is a virgin, like a wall, we will protect her with a silver tower. But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door, we will block her door with a cedar bar’. Songs of Solomon 8:9.

Simply put, you go one way, you get protection. You go the other way, you simply don’t plus you get blockage. Nobody really needs to tell you what to do in this case, look inwards and think critically about it, then make a choice. Whatever your choice, make the decision based on what you want for yourself, not what you were told to do or bullied into doing. Sexual intimacy is the deepest form of knowing someone made in God’s image. Don’t let anyone who would not put a premium on you know you that way. It is like putting a tiara on a pig.

As a young girl, you are worth waiting for…except there’s that other factor where you are the one that doesn’t wanna wait *wink, wink* Or you might even just be confused or feeling helpless about it. And if you are, talk to someone. Don’t try to work it out alone, there are lots of people struggling with it too so you are not alone. Personally,  I think what makes men respect women who waited is because of the self-control, this character that is so lacking these days. The confidence the girl exudes that says ‘I ain’t giving you, feel free to walk’, the fact that the girl cannot be bullied, she is also desirable and brainy. It is not necessarily the flat abs, space between the thighs, pretty eyes or shiny hair that defines sexy, it’s the beauty plus the brains, topped with a lorryload of self-confidence, a girl who takes on the world with fire in her eyes and treats everyone, irrespective of position, with kindness and respect.

And statistics have shown that the percentage of college students practicing abstinence is gradually increasing now, more than in the 90s. Very soon, abstinence will be the next cool thing!


Posted in Girl discovered

Behind every man…

I shared this with some ladies a few weeks ago and I found out that, because I talked about it, it sorta stuck with me. It got me giving a lot more attention to my intuition now than ever before. Yes intuition, that’s what I said. But before I drone on, this is what I shared with those ladies.

The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son (Moses). She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months. Exodus 2:2.
At this time, all mothers were throwing their sons in the Nile cos that was the law but this woman, sensitive in spirit, just felt that this particular one was special. And she went against the law and kept this baby. ‘Special’ wasn’t written in his forehead, so how did she figure that out? As women, we don’t make choices based on logic or reasoning, we use emotions and feelings. And even though we might be criticized for it, that’s how God fashioned us…to figure out what logic and sciences can’t figure out. To provide answers when reasoning and mathematics can’t. When that is combined with spiritual sensitivity, we are simply unstoppable. We need to embrace that gift in us, don’t ignore ur intuition or ur feelings about a matter, it might not make sense but most amazing things don’t make sense anyways. Improve on ur spiritual sensitivity, be the prophet of ur life, even if ur ‘feelings’ don’t make sense, take it to God, don’t just ignore it. And u might save a nation like Moses’ mother did. Good morning beauties!

I had a discussion with someone yesterday and he kept asking why I made the choice I made and all I kept saying was ‘I don’t know’. The honest truth is, I really do not know. For anyone, that is a load of bull. How can you make a life decision based on ‘I don’t know, I just feel that’s the best’? Cos there has to be some logic that led to such a choice right?. A typical male (and most women really) will say stuff like ‘based on historical occurrences right from 30 BC, any modern day Mark Antony in the work place must know without a doubt that all Cleopatras have agendas no matter the number of little Caesars they are able to provide as proof’. They will go all mathematical and logical on all concerned and yeah, they will not be wrong in their assertions. But as history has proven, they don’t always end up being right. Ladies on the other hand, will say ‘I just feel this will end up like that’ or ‘this will lead to that’, no logic, no proof, just a bunch of inexplicable mushy feelings based on nada.

But time and time again, these decisions based on ‘feelings’ have proven true. It’s simple intuition, the weapon God created for women. The sad thing is that these days a lot of women are ignoring their intuition in favour of facts just because it has been scorned over the ages, that it’s just dumb, and to prove ourselves able to do what men can do. FYI, it’s not dumb. Women might not be able to explain it but that’s what gives them the ‘I told you so’ upper hand in relationships. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you just need to be yourself, your indispensable self, all illogical and stuff. Don’t ignore your intuition, nurture it, give it attention and watch it work wonders for you. You need to know when to fight and when to flee, when to be quiet and when to speak up, when to wait and when to move. You might not get a lot of support initially but you will definitely get to say ‘I told you so’ eventually.This is not to say we are to ignore facts but basically, it’s about listening to our hearts despite the facts, especially if our hearts are leading us in the opposite direction of facts. And that folks, is the logic to ‘behind every man, there is a woman!’