Posted in children, kindness, love, Parents

LETTER TO PARENTS

Raising children is a lot of work and worse, they are never perfect.

As they grow up, don’t remind them of their imperfections,

the world will do that.

Be the one that looks upon them with kindness in your eyes and warmth in your embrace.

Cradle to college and beyond, they will always be your little ones.

Be the constant

Photo credit:mactoons.com

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WAVE IT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

https://i0.wp.com/www.ucg.org/files/images/articleimages/the-wave-sheaf-offering-a-ceremony-foreshadowing-salvation.jpg.crop_display.jpgSource-Photos.com

Had a good time at church today except for the having to wave a lot. Which is normally expected in church yeah? You will have to wave at least 25 times depending on how far your imagination takes you outside the building. If you are like my 2 year old niece with the attention span of 3 seconds, you probably won’t need to wave much and next thing you know, the service is over.

Before I stray too far off topic, while I was there feeling very mutinous over the need to wave every 5 minutes, after all I waved a lot during praise and worship. I mean what is the big deal about flailing our arms in church anyway? It should be good enough that we sing and dance hard, no?

The more I read Exodus – Leviticus, seeing how detailed God was about the structures, measurements, standards of living, cleanliness etc, I realize all the more that God doesn’t joke around about the way He wants His children to relate with Him. And that also include waving. God specifically asked for a wave offerings (Ex 29:24, Lev 23:10-11).

Wave offerings are a special class of offerings. They are to re-affirm our commitment and show our servitude. Like we completely trust that He can handle all our heartaches and headaches. And God just wants us to not only have faith in Him but show that we trust Him absolutely. Even when it seems like we are life’s target for troubles. And there is a difference between faith and trust. Faith says we hope God will do it. Trust says we know, we are absolutely convinced, we are not entertaining any doubts that God will do it, even of the prevailing facts prove otherwise. We still dig our heels in and maintain the fact that He will do it.

And the truth is, if we completely show and prove our trust, God can shock us every day for the rest of our lives, satisfying us with our deepest, mundane heart desires. So waving our arms to God in worship and praise isn’t just one of those things that are to be taken lightly, God wants it, loves it. It’s as important as our tithes and offering.

After all, if we don’t have arms to wave, God will remain God.

Posted in kindness, love, ripple effect

YOU ARE NEVER FULLY DRESSED WITHOUT A SMILE. OR A FRIENDLY WAVE.

Courtesy of the Random Acts of <b>Kindness</b> FoundationOn my route to work everyday, there is this intersection where vehicles have to take turns to get passed on by the traffic warden. Nothing stressful, a mere two minutes wait thereabouts. Now, there is this handicapped young man who decided to make that spot his beg-for-alms spot. I had often wondered why he wouldn’t take on a job after all he still has both legs and he’s only missing an arm. But hey, I’m not living his life so I can’t judge. But personally, I have this thing for not giving people like that cash. I mean, people on wheelchair have found a way to earn a honest living! Okay, I’m done sitting on the high horse.

So I would never give this guy cash but after a while, I started waving at him. The first time I did that, he responded with a huge smile accompanied by that look of surprise on his face…don’t know why people get shocked when a random, pretty female says hi for no reason other than just to holla… Okay, enough of straying off topic, I’m going to stay focused now. Of course, I drove off right after and that was it. But like a couple of times afterwards, I’d smile and wave at him whenever I find him there.

Some days ago, I was at the said intersection waiting to get passed on. This beggar was trying to get the driver in front of me to drop cash for him and that was sorta taking a while so he did not get to me till we were passed on. I proceeded to wave as I drove up to him but he was looking at the other car driving off so he didn’t see me in time. I kept waving till he saw me and as soon as he did, his face lit up in recognition and he shouted ‘haa, my dear!’

I was actually shocked to hear that and I promptly bursted into laughter! I mean, that was like super-duper pleasant of him right? And I had gotten upgraded. From the nameless, stingy driver to his personal dear. I don’t think my cash would have made as much impression as my smile and wave did on that beggar who didn’t expect strangers to smile at him for no apparent reason. The <b>Kindness</b> Wave

You would never know how far your random acts of kindness can go. And in this world of killings, hatred, tsunamis, betrayal, cheating, lies, raping, kidnappings…we need all the kindness we can muster. Being kind to one another is not overrated, the Lord made it clear that all that is desired of man is kindness (Pr 19:22). We make Him so happy when we show kindness to one another. So, let’s try again, say a kind word to that doorman every morning, remember the names of the people who work for/with you and greet them by their names, take a minute to commend the efforts of traffic officials before rushing off, ask about the health of the elderly folks whenever you have to say hello to them, help that random child cross the road…It doesn’t have to be much really. We just need to start pulling other people into the centre of our world as against pushing them into the periphery.

These things, money can’t buy.Want to Lead? Try a Little <b>Kindness</b>.

Posted in Captain America, divorce, love, Love never fails, marriage

I ran into an old flame some days ago, not that old really, the most recent of the flames though. I’m beginning to think Ibadan is becoming too small for me. Running into him was like…okay, lemme describe it *rolling up sleeves*

I was going into a building with my bestie and he was coming out of it. I was about five steps to the entrance when he bursted out of it. Omo! I froze (not physically though, in my brain…or mind, methinks). So, I said hello but kept walking, didn’t even miss a step. Diva all the way. He responded with a hi and an expression that suggests he was surprised to see me still existing on this planet. Duh! And he was with a babe, fine one at that (reluctantly admitting o). I walked into the building all calm and everything but all my senses were on fire! Sincerely, if I had succumbed to the reactions of my body…my actions would not have been defendable. In court.

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But I stayed calm through it all even though my bestie kept making fun of me and laughing. Told me he could see the problem, that I am obviously not his type as I am not orobo (plus size)….apparently, I’m only medium orobo *rolling eyes*

See that roughly 10-minute moment, I had been there aaaaaaa lot in the past. This year alone, my crushes and almost-happened are…hmmmmm, let me count. I…A…oh, Banky W….O…B…and now, Captain America! (Not Chris Evans, the Cap himself!) I daresay after loving all these boys and I’m still single, its time I said e don do. Give up on all the love shiznit. Hands off. Respect myself. Go all Queen Elsa. That would be the 21st century way right? But alas, that isn’t the case with this fool for love. Because my attitude is still “ooookay, who’s next?!”

Why-can’t-I-stop?! Respect myself, do the “all my single ladies-independent woman-girl on fire” things…I mean, a girl just need to know when to freaking stop! Aaaarrrghhhhh!

But the Lord never stopped yeah.

Even though we keep rejecting Him. We are hardly ever kind to one another, we usually don’t go visiting orphans, widows, prisoners, aged etc, we are entirely selfish with personal resources, we don’t take gifts to the sick in the hospital, random guy with a seat in a bus will never give his seat to that girl or elderly without a seat. We kill each other with guns, bombs and tongues, we hate each other, husbands don’t honour wives anymore, wives don’t respect husbands anymore, children don’t love parents anymore because all they see is the parents hating on each other, poor folks can’t be our friends (many have rejected angels thinking they sent a beggar away) and each individual is always looking out for himself/herself, no loyalty among friends. No love.

Yet, Jesus is always there, with arms open wide.
So, I’m going to take my cue from this Guy that loves me endlessly. Yea, getting heartbroken a lot leaves its toll but it’s okay. God did not make a mistake making me, me. Things might suck most times but I always leave every failed interaction a stronger, wiser woman. And all these, is all part of a plan. We are all God’s perfect plan drawn in love. So, no matter how hopeless that relationship or marriage is, we are not gonna give up on love. We will get the concept of the love that never fails.
The greatest fear most people have is lack of hope. No hope of a bright future, no hope of a loving husband, no hope of a secure job, no hope of continuous fame…we all need hope. It’s like a life force of its own. Yet the Bible says ‘faith, love and hope, the greatest of this is love. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Above all, LOVE NEVER FAILS (1 Cor 13:7-8) If new generation marriages were based on this love, divorce rates will be drastically reduced.1415988602130

Posted in affections, love, Relationships

SONGS OF SOLOMON:

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3:5 – I charge you daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

So, we were at church, ready to head home but we had to wait for  my sister who just wouldn’t finish up with her meetings (…rolling eyes..) and since she was my driver, I had to dutifully wait. While hanging around, my 5-year-old little girl was having a blast running all over the place. Then this little boy came along and kept tugging at her to play. At first she seemed to prefer to just do her thing but the boy was kinda persistent, pulling her braids, running after her and stuff.

At that moment, I was the proud mom, watching my baby do the diva thing!

But alas, since the boy wouldn’t be shaken off, they both started running all over the place together, crashing into each other, laughing really hard ( over what I simply couldn’t understand *scowling*) and they were actually having fun. At that point, I stopped being the proud mom and the mother hen spirit took over. Okay, this isn’t fun anymore, I don’t care how happy my daughter looks. When I could take it no more, I pulled my girl outside ( as gently as I possibly could, given the circumstances…I’m sure you can understand). As soon as we stepped out, I asked her the first question that popped into my head.

“Don’t you want boys to respect you?” To which she calmly answered “No”

What?! Okay. Calm down. Regroup.

So, I also calmly asked “Do you know the meaning of the word ‘respect’?

She tilted her head to a side and gave me this look that says ‘hmmm, lemme think about that for a second’ when in actual fact she has tuned me out and thinking ice cream. Okay, she doesn’t know the meaning of the word hence her answer. Phew!. I carried her to the ledge and put her on it, all the while thinking furiously, ‘Do I Iet this slide, is this the point where I do the ‘talk’, am I not supposed to wait till she’s at least 10? will it not be too late then, I mean she’s already interacting with boys now! She would love the fun, love the attention and who knows, if the boy stops giving it, what assurances do I have that she won’t go seeking it. I definitely do not want her growing up believing there are no boundaries. And if I don’t teach her now and she becomes accustomed to that way of life, will she listen when she becomes a teenager?Then I remembered that verse that expressly says ‘Do not awaken love’.

Okay then, let’s do part of the ‘talk’. I stood in front of her, made her very comfortable and tried to explain the word respect in terms of boys, why it is important to not be easy and make the boy work for your attention. After all, she just can’t run after any boy who comes along asking to play tag. I am not sure I did a good job of explaining because even though she kept nodding through my ramblings and answered my subsequent questions correctly, she would occasionally  point to a flower and say ‘Mom look, that trunk is bent’ or give me that famous blank stare. Okay, she probably did not get me but I’m sure I planted the seed.

For as many as have been in love before or had sex before, they will all attest to the fact that you never want it to stop. Once one is over, you want to move on to another. That’s when the need for acceptance and the need to be loved becomes more important than life itself. It is easier for adults to handle this, but not teenagers who are basically controlled by hormones and zero common-sense. That’s why that woman in Songs of Solomon begged that love is  not to be awakened or even stirred until love is ready. Cos once love is stirred, there is no going back. I believe these kids should be encouraged to enjoy childhood as much as possible, not rush into the crazy, hormonal years where life is meaningless if that crush doesn’t reciprocate their feelings. A lot of youngsters lose love for their parents, love for education and even love for self in the pursuit of love of the opposite sex. And we can only see the beginning, who knows what the end will be like.

I don’t think kids should be kissed too often by their parents especially on the mouth, I don’t think parents should be too busy to not be attentive to the changes in their kids, I don’t think we should watch these kids set themselves up for emotional disasters and say nothing in the name of ‘we love them too much to be firm’. I don’t think we should trust them too much that we cool it on the guidance. I don’t think kids should be given unmonitored internet access.

Playing hard-to-get is not just for the girl. It’s also for the guy. He gotta get sure if he wants the girl that much. The turn of time has taught us that girls that play it hard are dumb. Yeah maybe. But if this wasn’t the case, yeah maybe there will be more late marriages but maybe there will be less divorces too.

Posted in love, respect

LET WINTER MELT INTO SPRING

And I find myself drifting further away from the super-poetic, romantic, suave Solomon…I tried really hard to stay on track, I really did. But hey, here we go.

I got to reading about the laws concerning vows in the Old Testament. I know we really don’t read much of the Old Testament, after all most of the principles don’t apply anymore in these times. Really, my neighbor has no goat or grain. And we don’t put to death that married chick that was caught going at it with her bobo’s colleague. Right?

So back to the issue of vows. It was plainly stated in the entire chapter that if a woman makes a vow, promise, covenant or whatever and her father hears of it and decides the vow does not make sense, as her dad he has the right to annul it. And it will stay annulled in the sight of God. That’s super cool right?? Now I can make crazy promises that I know I can’t make good and just get my dad to cancel them for me when it’s time to pay up.

Now, isn’t that just bananas!

Okay, the amazing part about this is that when the babe gets married, her husband assumes this authority. If the babe makes a vow to God for example, and her husband hears of it and annuls it, that’s final. Meaning the dude (bless his heart!) gets the sole rights to make decisions of such magnitude on the girl. And the best part….it’s stamped by God Himself! By the way, we are talking about Leviticus 30.

It got me realizing that even though we are in the age where the dude and the babe make equal (or almost equal) financial, mental, social contributions in the home, the truth of the matter is the guy is, at the end of the day, the head…the rockstar…the rule-maker…the game-changer. So when we girls argue with our men, claiming rights and stuff around the home and he is still putting his foot down, maybe we should take a step back and re-assess.

It goes beyond annulling vows and promises. It involves making choices. It’s about taking a job the dude does not agree with, buying a property the guy isn’t ok with, going against his wishes especially when it’s not about him being selfish. I think it is safer to get the dude to agree with us than blatantly going against his will. And I don’t think that should be too hard, queen of his heart tins. It doesn’t make us stupid when we defer to our men, it makes us wise. And the wise woman just doesn’t build her home, she keeps it too.

Don’t worry chicas, my next point of call is to look into the power we girls have on the men in our lives. We gotta have something too, no?