Yes I said it out loud.
A lot of people cringe at the sound of the word being said ‘not in private’. My guess is it’s because of the ‘shame’ that is attached to the issue of sexuality. Don’t talk about it, don’t show it, don’t use it, don’t nothing it. We are denied knowledge of it, over time it grows huge (like it’s bound to) and for lack of knowledge, blows up in our faces.Yet sexuality is a huge part of our being. So why do we pretend it doesn’t exist?
Sexuality is a powerful aspect of our being. It has a life force of its own, you can’t learn it, you can’t deny it, you can’t loan it out to someone else, it’s just yours to deal with.We have been socialized to ignore it, deny its existence, be ashamed of it, get rid of it yet it’s there in our faces, silent but present like the ‘g’ in sign.
Sexuality is a form of power, created by God as part of our being and endowed upon every individual. By denying it or being ashamed of it, we are denying ourselves access to a part of us and denying ourselves access to its power. People that have allowed themselves an awareness of their sexuality have been able to tap the power in it. It brings us a confidence that emboldens us to face the world, face our fears, walk tall, stand firm and take charge. This aspect of being makes you creative, makes you feel like you can get an idea and run with it, makes you feel your chest filling with confidence and knowing without a doubt that you can rule your life and there is no stopping you. With the realization of this power, you get this confidence that chases away all fear of failure or fear of falling. Here, I am not talking about the sexuality that makes us cocky, egoistical, self-serving and do stupid things. I am talking about an awareness of what we are, and with the appreciation of this knowledge, we can do ‘us’. And by doing us I mean, we are what we do, not what we call ourselves. You are a liar if what you do is lie, you are a CEO cos that’s what you do, you are a lady cos you do lady-like stuff, you are a man cos you act all masculine, etcetera.
When we allow society, media or popular culture coerce us to hide our sexuality or be ashamed of it, that is our power be stolen from us. And that’s what happens when people are raped; their sexuality is stolen, they lose their pride and confidence, they are made to feel ashamed, worthless and…powerless.
I challenge all parents, let’s teach our children about sexuality, give them appropriate education on the subject. If we don’t give them the facts they will go look for it on the internet and we know what they will find there (try google search ‘sexuality’ and see what comes up). Let’s teach them to love themselves for this inner power, to not be ashamed or afraid of it, to guard and nurture it and most importantly, to not be ashamed to talk to us about it. If they talk to us about it, we can guide them the right way to use the power of sexuality.
photo credit: shutterstock.com