Posted in making a difference, Plan, protection, Purpose, society, Trump's America

The Donald or The American President

I have made it a point of staying away from the hullabaloo going on in Trump’s America. After all, which one be my own. However, something in the news this morning caught my attention on the issue of President Trump’s first international trip.

“….political analysts say if the president can return home from this with even minor achievements but more importantly, no major gaffes, the White House can consider it a win.”

Since Trump’s presidency started and given the amount of excuses that have been provided to explain his behaviour, I had always feared that by the time Trump is done with America, we would have forgotten what ‘The American President’ is meant to be. Based on what was said in the  news this morning, I am beginning to think I might be right.

Having your fears confirmed isn’t a good thing. FYI.

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Now, not that I worry for present day Americans, after all, some of them put him there. But I worry for our children. Not just American children, but children all over the world. See, United States of America being a world leader is being watched critically. Yet, America is compromising on ideals regarding the highest office, the most sacred seat, and political analysts are hoping for ‘minor achievements’. Is that what he was elected to deliver? Minor achievements….

 

So I ask, given that history is watching, what type of America are we going to leave our children? How do we teach our children the values of not compromising or settling for less? The Founding Fathers fought for a deliberate type of America. Is this it?

 

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Posted in abuse, mothers, protection, rape, seek help

LETTER TO MOTHERS

I read this post on rape, some days ago and it got me thinking about the roles parents, mothers and fathers, have played or have to play in the lives of their daughters and sons who get raped. FYI, don’t be deceived into believing that it’s only girls that get raped. House helps and nannies molest sons too, they claim they are teaching them how to become men. *I have a feeling some dudes are nodding right now saying, oh yeah, that happened to me*

This post is mainly for mothers. I heard about a mom that beat up her daughter for getting raped. Like seriously!!! Talk about rubbing pepper into a wound. We all face various forms of abuse every day, from bus drivers/conductors, bosses, careless friends and the unfair world in general. And then there is transference of abuse, from one person to the next available target that can be easily bullied. There is a power play that is passed on from generation to generation. Mothers have to provide that buffer from all the abuse, potential or actual. It is our JOB to protect our children from being victimized. Let’s not wait till it happens, let’s prevent it.

“I couldn’t sleep all night, until the morning I was sitting above him looking at him. I was looking at him and I was thinking of what he had done to me and thinking about why he humiliates me and what can I do, what should I do. Every single event that happened is rolling in front of my eyes like a film and in the morning I took a gun and I shot him,” she is quoted as saying in Iranian newspaper Shargh Daily

She buried her husband in their backyard, and her family turned her into the police not long after.

For the past four years, Ebrahimi has awaited execution by hanging for her crime. Ebrahimi came close to the noose once before. In May 2013, on the day her execution was scheduled, she informed the prison guards that she had only been 17 at the time of her crime and they stopped the proceedings and brought her back to jail. Excerpt from The Daily Beast by Nina Strochlic, Friday June 20, 2014.

This is just one example of the diverse results of abuse. What roles do mothers play here? Here goes.

  1. Let’s teach our daughters they have premiums, they have a huge worth, they are extremely valuable and for those reasons, no one owns them and thus no one has any rights over their minds or their bodies.
  2. We need to teach them that it is perfectly okay to say ‘no’ if they want to. It is their right. And they must never allow anyone to make them think otherwise.
  3. They must know that their private parts are exactly that, private. Belongs to them and them alone, not to be shared with any uncle, daddy or friend. And we should not buy them clothes that say otherwise.
  4. We have to teach them (and show them) that when they get into trouble, the best place to run to is home. They must not bottle anything up, they must never hide anything.
  5. Most importantly, we must let them know, in practical terms, that we will never blame them or judge them for anything that happens to them. They will never lose our love no matter what.
  6. We must teach our sons that the female gender is not beneath them, subjects to be used, created to make their lives run smoothly.
  7. We have to teach our sons to respect women, to respect their sisters, to not boss them around. A lot of mothers tell the daughters ‘don’t you know he is the boy, you have to do it for him, get it for him, defer to him’ etc. That’s how we spoil them and set them up for disaster.
  8. We have to teach our sons to accept that WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO, IT MEANS NO. Even if the girl is his sister or his mom, in whatever context or situation, no means no.
  9. Let us teach our sons to be courteous, to open car doors, to help in the kitchen, to take responsibilities for their actions.
  10. No matter how busy we are, let us make time to have quality relationships with each of our children.

Time flies by so fast and we should not miss anything going on  with them. It is our job to watch them like hawks. That power job and the fat bank account will mean nothing if we fail as parents.
Let’s face facts, our society does not exactly take rape seriously, the perpetrators are hardly ever brought to justice and the victims are often blamed for their experiences. It is left to us mothers to protect these little ones. Take up that bat and fight in your own little way, their scars are ours. It’s what we teach them now that they will take to adulthood.
And I say again, let’s raise our girls with self-esteem and our boys to be complete gentlemen.

                                            photocredit- attachedmoms.com

Posted in Boko haram and people, insurgents, kindness, protection, This Day Live

BOKO HARAM, THE ACTS, THE PEOPLE.

Had this conversation three days ago with a friend of mine who resides in Maiduguri, the capital city of Borno…

Me: How are things, really, over there?

Friend: Well….it’s really crazy here

Me: I can imagine

Friend: Just that the capital, Maid, is a little better than the neighboring local governments as Boko Haram guys are in control of most of those places.

Me: So you guys at Maid don’t have to deal with blasts?

Friend: Bombings have stopped here for quite a while. Just that there was a blast here on Tuesday at the main market and an attempt was foiled just yesterday at a very busy commercial area. But it’s been peaceful in the cities, the villages are having it really tough.

And then, breaking news this morning.

Military Quells Boko Haram Onslaught on Damaturu

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The military appears to have taken control of the situation in Damaturu, the Yobe state capital, which was massively attacked by the  Islamic terrorist group, Boko Haram, early Monday.

A security source told our correspondent that the insurgents numbering over 100 had attacked the town from Gujba road, which indicated that they came from Gujba town which they have had control over for some months now.

He said they attacked the town as early as 4am, trying to take control of the security facilities in the town.

According to him, they attacked the Police Mobile Unit where they exchanged gunfire with the police on duty and were able to push them back.

He said: “The military jet has to be deployed to push the insurgents back as the situation is now under control and the entire town has been cordoned off.”

He stated: “The casualties cannot be counted now but it is massive, the insurgents were overwhelmed and they suffered a lot of deaths but few police officers and civilians were also killed in the crossfire.”

A resident, Ibrahim Abdul, who spoke on phone, said: “We were woken up by sounds of gunshots and explosions and up till now (8:30am) we cannot leave our homes as we are still hearing gunshots though less deafening than about two hours ago.”

“Everyone is indoors and our children are all at home with us as no one dares go out,”

Source: This Day Live.

Damaturu is 135 km West of Maiduguri,  Borno State capital.

So, methinks, while we in the areas not affected by this violence fold our arms and do nothing just because we are not the ones with ears ringing, lying on the floors in our homes, trying to protect our children. While we look on and just talk, blaming the government, the AU, the UN…for not helping us. While we seemingly think we are unaffected by the activities of Boko Haram, just because we reside in the cities, we better sit up. It’s in the cities now.

Even if we can’t raise billions of dollars for security and we can’t carry guns ourselves or drive armored tanks, we can send relief materials to those affected. We can help evacuate people and re-settle them but best of all, we can pray. And pray really hard. God told Moses, that He has seen the affliction of His people and He has heard their cries. Maybe God is seeing the affliction, deaths, suffering, poverty and degradation going on in the northern parts of this country but He has not heard our cries yet. If every girl, man, boy, woman cries out, maybe we will get the help this country needs.

But if the good people continue to just talk and blame, we will be handing the trophy over to the bad guys.