I was challenged by Lifetitudes to write my single girl list and it occurred to me that I never really had a list. I just know if I like a guy or if I don’t. I have also been challenged by Toin on ’20 things about me’ but that has been a tad difficult cos you see, I am still trying to figure me out. Which is why I think my single girl list might also be jaga jaga. But here goes. I hope it doesn’t exceed 10, I like to think of myself as easy-to-please.
1. This is major, he must not have a B-O (body odour). I don’t want a biological terrorist for a husband.
2. He must not have mouth odour, I really don’t wanna die of poisoning.
3. He must be neat and clean, borderline OCD sef.
4.He must be willing to fast and pray, not minding that I eat and sleep.
5. For the sake of my social survival, his last name must not be Confidence, Good-thoughts, Condition, Idogbe or Adika.
6. He must be tall (at least taller than I am) and preferably lepa.
7. I’ll prefer if he is yellow paw paw. Yellow children are usually more loved ( so my sister says) hence naming gifts and birthday gifts will always be uncountable.
8. He must be rich. Please.
9. There must no pot belly now or in the nearest future. I will have and one is sufficient for the family. Meaning no alcohol (not just beers), not excessive feeding and must always work out.
10. He must clueless about cooking. I mean totally clueless, like get lost in the kitchen kinda clueless. And he must not like eating out. When he upsets me, I want to be able to vex and starve him successfully.
11. He must be a handsome devil who also happens to be blind to all women except me. And maybe his mom too sha.
12. He must be able to earn my respect daily. I am serious about the ‘daily’ part.
13. He must not poop when he farts, except he wants to be doing his laundry himself.
14. He must not be one of those ‘my wife must kneel down for me everyday, answer yes sir’ kinda men, I want to remain a sweet girl, not an angry soul.
15. He must be very generous. Generous monthly allowance, generous sex, generous with time too, I wanna age gracefully.
16. He must love God more than I do.
17. There must not have a tasteless history in his past, like his great grand mother confessed to emere-hood or witch-ry. I can’t shout.
18. He must totally love my idiosyncrasies.
Oh whoa, 18 already. Not bad, at least I don’t have 25. All these, except No. 16, might change by February 14 or when Captain America shows up, who knows. I find myself to be pretty flexible.